Three Movies And One Review

A post by "KG Da Juiceman" To see more posts click here

First Up: Eagle Eye

Shia LaBeouf , Michelle Monaghan , Rosario Dawson, and Billy Bob Thornton lead the way in this fast pace flick about two people getting their strings pulled by some strange woman and a cell phone.  The two are commanded to carry out a bunch of tasks after the voice leverages them by setting up LaBeouf’s character (Jerry Shaw) as a terrorist and threatening to kill Monaghan’s (Rachel Holloman) character’s  son.  They basically jump through a bunch of hoops while trying to elude special agent’s played by Thornton and Dawson.  Check the trailer above if you fell off the planet and haven’t heard of it.

Performance wise, Thornton stole the show.  He plays the blunt, borderline asshole agent that we all wish we could be sometimes.  Tell it like it is, get pissed about what it was.  LaBeouf plays his normal witty smart ass self which is ever so evident the moment he comes on screen with a ridiculous monologue during a card game with Turtle from Entourage (I don’t know his real name and don’t care to look it up.)  Sadly, I don’t think anyone could have saved the plot of this movie which we have all seen before.  Without spoiling it…click here if you want to know which movie it hijacks.

Long story short, the completely expected unexpected plot twist makes me give this one 2.5 squirts out of 5.  DVD this Mofo.

Second:  Body of Lies

King Leo DiCaprio and Russel Crowe play the main roles in this spy flick.  Leo is an operative trying to track down a known terrorist who likes to get other dummies to blow themselves up in public.  Again, trailer above.

Both leads do their usual thing in this movie.  Leo does a good job of playing the conflicted hero who regrets popping people in the dome in the name of anti-terrorism.  Russel Crowe makes the audience abhor his existence as the bureaucrat pulling strings from a distance while never putting himself in danger.  Mark Strong also does a decent job as the leader of the Jordanian secret service.  He’s tough, and rich thus making him every man’s alter ego.

The plot is excellent.  Plenty of action to keep the blood thirsty happy and plenty of politics for the thinkers.  There aren’t too many twists and turns but the few that are there do a good job of moving the plot seamlessly.  Also worth mentioning is the very accurate use of current military hardware that helps us keep an eye on dicks who love to pursue an after life with 40 virgins.

Overall, 3.5 squirts out of 5.  See this one in the theater folks. Think of this one as Traitor (which i give a solid 3) with way more action and grit.

Finally: Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist

Our favorite high schooler Michael Cera has another great performance on his hands.  You would never think someone so dull and soft spoken could possibly be a star but this dude is plain funny.  Cera’s character, Nick, has the jams about some "hot" (I say "hot" because she kind of looks like a lemur) chick who broke up with him.  Then through a few events meets a "not so hot" (i say "not so hot"because she looks like a dead lemur) chick played by Kat Dennings and their love of music brings them together. If you haven’t gotten it by now, the trailer is above.

This one’s pretty simple…you will laugh your ass off most of the movie.  The exchanges between characters are hilarious.  It makes you wish you could record conversations with your friends and then listen to the dumb ass cut downs and jabs you throw at each other.  Each of the youngsters do a great job of seeming like a normal idiot teenager.  They want to party, get drunk and have sex.  Simple enough.  Throw that in with the fact that Cera is in a band with two gay guys who meets a third "beefy" gay and you have a hit.

4 out 5 Juicy squirts for this one.  Go see it with a chick and you’ll probably hit at least a double later in the evening.  See it with a bunch of dudes and you’ll have plenty of one liners to pull out later while you guys are slamming beers.

That’s all folks.  Look for the Juice to review Max Payne in the coming week.  Eat up these quick reviews and then

udothedishes

Juice