GQ’s 25 Douchiest Colleges

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“Beneath our thickest shades we oft have heard
Thy voice, when noon upon his fervid car
Rode o’er the deep of heaven; beside our springs
Sit down, and in our mossy valleys, on
Some bank beside a river clear, throw thy
Silk draperies off, and rush into the stream:
Our valleys love the Summer in his pride.”

-from “To Summer” by William Blake (1757-1827)

Ah, the end of summer, it’s the only time of the year both celebrated by full-time employees and lamented by full-time students. Speaking of which, we know many of you will be going back to school soon and we figured we’d share this little gem that GQ put out highlighting the 25 Douchiest Colleges in America.

Here’s the partial list in case your browser won’t support the link (it’s some sort of Flash thing), if you want the full list check out GQ:

25. UVa – Home of the “Blue-Blazer” douche that refers to our third President as ‘Mr. Jefferson’

20. Morehouse – Home of the “Fonzworth Bentley Douche” who’s in the International Leadership Program while being president of Alpha Phi Alpha while being militant about the white power structure while promoting a biweekly hip-hop showcase.

19. Ohio State (J.Mal’s alma mater)

17. U. of Chicago – Home of the “Paul Wolfowitz Douche” who believes that war is good as long as you don’t have to fight in it.

16. USC – Home of the “Giant Sunglasses” Douche

12. U. of Phoenix – Home of the “Online Douche” who enjoys the futon in mom’s basement.

10. U. of Colorado – Home of the “Kind-Bud Douche” whose aspirations 10 years from now include being a Junior classman.

9. Charter College (Palin’s alma mater)

2. Duke – Home of the “Original Douche” who is likely to end the party by taking his shirt off and wrestling a guy named Schmitty.

1. Brown – Home of the “Peace Sign on my mom’s 7-series Douche” who is likely to live in a refurbished old home in a decaying section of a city that’s been recently reclaimed by a small population of white guys in hand-painted t-shirts who are helping you put together a health care fundraiser for MoveOn.org.

udothedishes . . .