“No mama, I want sex on Fiyah!

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I love Kings of Leon. I blast them in my car all the time. They have such a great sound and the lead singer’s voice is raspy and unique. So while driving my son to my mother-in-law’s a couple of weekends ago, I cranked up some KoL. J (my son) loves music, especially rock, so he started playing his air guitar. When the song was over and I turned down the volume to answer my phone, it happens. J said, very sternly, “No mama, I want sex on fiyah!” I almost dropped my phone and I’m pretty sure I swerved my car a little. I had corrupted my son.

My husband and I used to joke that once we had children we would never be able to listen to Dr. Dre. Ever. Of course, this was before we owned iPods, but still, I can’t ever clean the house while blasting the Marshall Mathers LP. Or wash my car while jamming to old school Wu Tang Clan. J is always there now…lingering in the back…singing along.

It’s not like I miss the days when he didn’t repeat everything he heard. I love the fact that we can have “conversations” about why I always have to be Dora when we play (I may want to be Alicia from Go Diego, Go! instead). We obviously didn’t think about it once J was born, since most of his music consisted of lullabies, Mozart, Beethoven, and instrumentals. When he turned one-years-old, his interests consisted of Elmo and Nick Jr. But it was just so much easier to get away with playing Tupac when he was crawling.

It’s exciting to see J love music so much. I have a feeling he’s going to play electric guitar since he’s already mastered the air guitar. I want to be able to expose him to all types of music (except Country, sorry Garth!) but it’s a hard thing to do. Pop music is filled with so many innuendos now, that it’s hard to listen to ANY radio station without cringing. I don’t know about you, but I find it extremely disturbing when I hear an 8–year-old sing along to “Birthday Sex.” That’s why I felt so unfathomably guilty that damned Saturday morning. J was one of those kids. I was a bad parent.
We tried Kids Bop, but I got so annoyed by those whining little voices, I had to hide those CDs. We also tried the Wee Sing tapes from the library, but he was so uninterested that he turned off the player all by himself. We tried listening to his baby CD’s again, but he fell asleep for about four hours and messed up his sleep schedule. So I finally decided to burn a CD for him. Here’s a sample of his playlist:
1. Theme from Dora the Explorer
2. Theme from Go, Diego, Go!
3. Theme from The Backyardigans
4. Itsy Bitsy Spider
5. “Life is a Highway” from Disney Pixar’s movie Cars

Every time he listens to the Cars song, he states “that my song mama!” and he busts out his air guitar. And even though I have listened to that darn CD over 100 times, at least I know he will not say “sex on fiyah” again. Well, at least until he’s a teenager, when I can introduce him to my favorite bands…like Kings of Leon.

Udothedishes…

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